dark one liners reddit

1.8k votes, 4.1k comments. She then reaches into her handbag a pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife and hands it to him. Tried to catch some fog yesterday.....but I mist. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an "Attitude Suitability Test", that you must take before you can be accepted. This means you will have to feed her. "Couldn't complain". First the bad news: Your wife's accident resulted in two fractures of her spine."

"Couldn't complain". EDIT: Thank you for the gold kind stranger! I didn't ready the sidebar so crucify me if need be. Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot: "You pass," said the Chief Deputy. So study hard and be evil. Lie back and rest.' Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car. If you don't have friends, just tell a woman that you love her and she says that we're just friends. “I need to talk to President Trump, it’s an emergency!” exclaimed Hillary. Full disclosure: These jokes may or may not have come from dads. This should all fit into the title. On a similar note, if a post does not make sense or offends you, report it! "Well then," the journalist queried, "if you couldn't complain, why did you come to the US?". Star wars jokes. They both admired comedy and hence they decided to give it a shot. They tell him his wife's been in a terrible car accident. Use the search bar if you think your oneliner may have been posted before.

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21/03/2020. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tap noise coming from the misty shadows.

", The doctor sits next to him and says, "I have good news and I have bad news. But yeah you'll have to do all that stuff for the baby.". The guy's dealing with the unexpected, crushing burden of being responsible for the livelihood of an inept, gross ball of noise for a decent portion of his life. I finally found out what trait women find most attractive in a man: The fact that he isn’t me. "You herd!" In this very house, not one month ago - ' 'Hush, dear,' soothed Abner. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts.

^^^^^^^if ^^^^^^^you ^^^^^^^write ^^^^^^^small ^^^^^^^enough. A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit ...". Absolutely hillarious black one-liners! Don't say mean things about illiterate people. He says "Sorry, I can't do that." The first time I played with it, it flew away. I'm a native. "Because she couldn’t see … "Couldn't complain". 'I cannot,' she cried.

'I must tell, or my soul will never know peace. What are you doing working here so late at night?" The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So I got hammered and passed out in a gutter. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! Press Ctrl-C (PC) or Cmd-C (Mac) to copy the sharable link above. "They misspelled my name!". r/oneliners: A variety of funny, one line jokes in a well-moderated, friendly community! Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to withe off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass. 'Not now,' muttered the stricken husband. What's the difference between a black dad and a boomerang? A good one-liner can serve so many purposes I don’t even know where to begin. Write them down. the old man grumbled. We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

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How did they invent break dancing? Browse our dark humor category for a great selection of funny jokes about … You must be a registered user to submit a joke. Have any dark friends? He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. See TOP 10 black one liners. Oh god, I hope Asimov actually wrote this one. 11 Best One Liner Jokes From Reddit. 1. Everybody says that you should say no to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late. I think this is the first joke i've read all thread that's new to me. ©Copyright 2016 Jokers Media, LLC - Jokerz and the Jokerz logo are registered trademarks of Jokerz Media, LLC, Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

Generally, if your joke would be more funny if it was split into a title and body section, its probably not a oneliner.

Well, Well, Well, Very Funny.

What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? A oneliner is a succinct, funny or witty remark.

What do you call a bunch of black people in an elevator? -Demetri Martin, The heimlich maneuver is just a cover-up for dry humping in public - Demetri Martin, I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. His brother with your Xbox. You agree by closing this box or continuing to use our site.

(trying to make sure I follow the rules, I just think it works better as a one liner), Thankfully he was so good that I don't give a shit. She says, "I want to kill my husband." Edit: Not sure why everyone is saying this isn't a dark punch line.

Chemistry jokes. See our new one liners or check one liner of the day.

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Good jokes. But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy). Hillary phoned Trump's office shortly after midnight. 'Abner,' she whispered, 'Abner, I cannot go to my Maker without confessing my misdeed.' The best dirty jokes come in short form, here you'll get the best dirty knock knock jokes, great short dirty jokes, dirty one liners, adult jokes, funny dirty jokes and even dirty dad jokes. Do you know a funny one liner? We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son.".

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